I have countdowns for many things on my phone... this one has been on for over a month and finally... 1 DAY!
Tomorrow we have our first appointment for this baby- FINALLY! At this point in Deacon's pregnancy I had already seen him 2 weeks prior to now, had multiple blood draws completed and knew as much about him as I possibly could at this point.
Right now I don't even know if I am carrying one baby or two.
I. am. nervous.
I. am. excited.
I can't wait!!
Sunday morning I was called by the Doctor's office we are going to tomorrow. The CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) that I had had my apt. with had a death in her family and is going to be out of town all week. Immediately I started to well up, I think the receptionist heard my voice crack because she got me in at the same time with an OBGYN. Although I really didn't want to see an OB I am okay with it because I am now 99% sure I will get a Sono! Gotta find the good in everything! (still trying to find the good in a male OB!)
My Home Birth Midwife suggested this office (specifically the OBGYN we are now seeing) as they are kind to transfer patients. Trust me, I am not living in fantasy land I want to keep all of my options open and easily accessible!
So this is where I stand;
- Is the baby ok?!?
- I just want to know that this is a happy, healthy, properly growing baby
- Are we having Multiples?
- I have had countless dreams that we are
- Was I right or was OvaCue right?
- There is a week's difference in the dates
I really just want to see and/or hear this baby. When I feel good (unlike now- PLEASE stomach… go back home!!) I wonder if I am making all of my symptoms up and if I just forgot I had my period, etc. I know that makes me sound like a crazy person and I KNOW I am pregnant I guess I just want that reassurance.
A very good, local, friend of mine found out early last week that she lost her baby. She was a week behind me. She didn't want to get into details until after my appointment but I am now heartbroken for her and fearful of my appointment (this is where the scared factor comes into play).
I will upload my vlog tonight and of course share all about the appointment in next week's vlog but in the meantime I just wanted to share how I was feeling- sorry for any scatterbrain-ness
